Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
