I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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