he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
