who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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