Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
