in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
