Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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