Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize