my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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