This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
