I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
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i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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