So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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