OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
