you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
