I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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