No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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