My sheets look like a crime scene.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
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using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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