I showed him my bush... on skype.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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