i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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