So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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