Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize