where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
