drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
