Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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