he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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