all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
