I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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