put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
