I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
