can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
