When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
