Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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