Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize