Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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