Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
