Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize