Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize