and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon