ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
im on a boat
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