im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
