WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.