hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
