The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
