Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
3pm strippers are depressing
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
