yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
