Only a mothe r could love this liver
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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