also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
