Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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