Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
