I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
