The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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