I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize