sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
