it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
