You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
