he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
