am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
