sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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